Did You Know Prenatal Depression Is A Thing?

Did you? Because I didn't. 

I've never suffered with depression before, I have suffered with other mental issues but that's another blog post for another day if you're unlucky enough. However, there was a short span during this pregnancy that I was having weekly check ups with my midwife and being monitored for prenatal depression. And now that part of my pregnancy is behind me, it made me think... Prenatal depression is not spoken about enough. 

I knew that roughly one in ten women suffer with postnatal depression but what I didn't know is that the statistics are the same for pregnant women. One in ten women suffer with depression during pregnancy. 

From week 26, I had lost all motivation to look after myself and look after baby Pea. Now I look back, I feel guilty and sick at how I felt towards my little Pea but at the time, you really don't feel like your thoughts are irrational or 'wrong.' I started to feel teary and emotional. I wanted to spend all my time in bed and the idea of leaving the house even to pop to the shops was overwhelming and something I dreaded. I would get home from work, jump in the shower and get into my pyjamas before Damien could ask if I wanted to go out. It was Damien that suggested I talked to the midwife/doctor and after a couple of weeks of shrugging it off, I realised I couldn't go on how I was. I was emotionally exhausted.

My midwife was brilliant. There is no other word to describe her. She listened to me, explained what I was feeling was normal and put me at ease and then she persuaded me to see my GP who prescribed me antidepressants.

I have always been somebody who refuses to take medication unless absolutely 100% necessary so this was a huge deal for me and to cut a long(er) story short, I never got the tablets. I flat out refused. I spoke to my Mum about how I was feeling, what the midwife & doctor had said, what I had been prescribed and a weight felt like it had been lifted off my shoulders. 

That was what I needed; my Mum. I openly spoke about how I felt to my partner & I included my sister and they were all fantastic. And I feel like I made the right decision to not take the tablets. I started seeing my Mum every day and every evening I would sit down with Damien and let him know exactly how I was feeling and if there had been any downs that day. 

I don't feel like I had antenatal depression but I feel if I had carried on down that path and not spoken to anybody, it could have very easily grabbed hold of me.

Because what some people forget is that you are not just a walking bump. There is a person right there who needs to be asked "how are you feeling today?"  There are many reasons a woman may develop antenatal depression but the sooner you realise you are not feeling yourself, it is important you speak to somebody. 

I hope this blog post has given anybody who needs it the motivation to have that conversation today/tonight. You are still you and you deserve help too if you need it. Your body is looking after that fetus, if you need somebody to look after you and your emotions for an hour/night/week then speak up. You deserve it.

For anybody who feels uncomfortable talking to family, friends or their partner about these issues there is still help out there for you and you still deserve it. 
SANEline is open to call on 0300 304 7000.